Victory is something most Christians desire or need in at least one area of their lives. We long to see the enemy lose, for circumstances to change and for darkness to flee. Most of us likely have a picture in our minds of what we think our victory ‘should’ look like. I certainly did, however God showed me that the image I had of the ‘victorious life’ was actually an incredibly worldly image and was not a lot like a godly, kingdom victory. I confess I have desired a ‘comfortable’ victory, with worldly riches and blessings and with my problems just sorted out and gone away. But I don’t think that is the picture of victory I want to be longing for anymore. 

Jesus’ victory was death on a cross. How many of us picture that when we see and long for our victory? We probably more visualise the resurrection, all things restored and healed! But Jesus triumphed over the powers and authorities of the dark world by the cross (Colossians 2:15). The resurrection only came after the most awful death and suffering imaginable, the cross. How many of us are willing to go to the cross where the victory was won before we experience our glorious resurrection?

Continue reading “What is your image of victory?” →

If you look back to 5 or 10 years ago, has your life turned out exactly the way you thought it would? Did you have a plan for how you wanted your life to go and how you would get there?

Often there is a way we feel life should go or at least we have some idea of how we want things to turn out… and there’s nothing wrong with that.

But it’s easy to get stuck believing a very common Christian misconception, which is that “because I’m a Christian and I’m blessed… God will protect me from suffering and my life is going to exactly the way I want, when I want, because he loves me”.

Unfortunately whilst it is very true that God loves us and that we are blessed as Christians, it doesn’t mean that life will happen just the way we want it to. Very often life will not go exactly to our own plan, but despite what goes on in our lives, God can and will still work out it for good – nothing can get in the way of his plan for our lives.

Continue reading “Surrender – His ways, His timings” →

In this post I’m going to give a practical example of how we put the four key words I looked at last week, into practice when planting a seed, a promise of the word, in our heart.

The biggest felt need in my life for a long time has been for health. Chronic fatigue syndrome has been extremely debilitating and isolating, I have longed to experience the healing I know God wants me to have but I have struggled to receive it and hold onto it. So the example I’m giving today is of my favourite healing scripture and how I am planting that seed in my heart in order to receive health.

“By his stripes, we have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:24

Continue reading “Producing A Crop” →

In Ephesians 1, Paul writes in verse three that God has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Sometimes when reading that I have felt frustrated because the blessing felt inaccessible. I yearned for God’s blessing to be part of my everyday reality, but I’ve had to learn how to access it. How we bring what God has already provided for us in the heavenly realms into our earthly lives is through the word of God. The word of God is full of promises and every single one has been given to us in Christ. The word tells us what our spiritual blessings are and it’s the power in the word itself that brings the harvest of God’s blessing into our lives.

Continue reading “Plant The Seed” →

Over the next few weeks I’m going to keep writing around the topic of faith, believing and receiving from God but also the things that hinder that. God showed me about a year ago that unbelief was a problem for me but if I’m honest I didn’t exactly understand what it was, as it is more than just ‘not believing’. Today I am sharing what I’ve learned through the word on this topic, in particular that doubt and unbelief are different and how to avoid slipping into unbelief.

In Romans 4:20 it says Abraham did not waver through unbelief, however if you read Genesis 15:2-3, Abraham does doubt. Although he’s received a promise (Genesis 12) that he will become a great nation, he is now doubting that he will have a child that is his own flesh and blood.

Continue reading “Avoiding Unbelief” →

Hello all!

Sorry it’s been so long, I’m planning to try to write on here a bit more and do one shorter post a week. Putting my goal here publicly will hopefully help me stick to it!

This week I have been wrestling with what it means to really hope. Hope being not just the vague feeling that things might turn out ok but the positive expectation of good things coming from God to us. I realised I have felt quite resistant to living in hope, it felt exhausting to even try to keep hoping. When life seems to deal you a lot of disappointment, it can leave you wounded and sadly in response to that, it can feel easier to not hope to protect yourself from the pain of disappointment.

Continue reading “Choosing Hope” →

COVID-19 has caused extreme disruption to most of us, however my life hasn’t really changed. Since developing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) in May 2016 I have spent the majority of that time in isolation at home, with limited social contact and doubts about my future. It’s not an easy situation for any of us to deal with for a long period of time, but I have definitely gained some wisdom over the past few years on how to make it not only bearable but often enjoyable too. The hardest part for me has been the mental side of it, the uncertainty of the future combined with being by yourself with too much time to think, can leave me swaying between anxiety and depression but also numbness. Feeling mentally sluggish, trapped and fed up can also become ‘normal’. Often we can’t change how we feel, but we can choose how we act in response to our feelings. Here are a few practical tips that have helped me to enjoy myself in the midst the struggle of being isolated, I hope they may help those of you who are finding the lockdown particularly difficult. 

1. Create a varied routine:

Give your days/weeks a rhythm, it will help them feel less endless and help you feel more motivated. We may enjoy slobbing around for a while but we really all crave order in our lives too. Try to mix it up though so it’s not the same day after day, plan different activities for different days. 

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“My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me.
See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.”
Song of Songs 2:10-11 NIV

Winter is supposed to be just a season but sometimes it feels like an eternity. We expect the seasons to change with a familiar regularity but sometimes we get stuck. We hear our beloved bridegroom’s invitation to leave winter behind us but winter remains and spring seems no-where in sight. This can leave us feeling perplexed as we think – if it’s over, then why am I still here? What am I doing wrong? But we have to look more closely at this passage of scripture to understand just how Jesus invites us to leave winter behind. However he does it in a way that we might not expect; Jesus simply calls us into a deeper place of intimacy within our relationship.

“Show me your face, let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely”
Song of Songs 2:14 NIV

Intimacy is being known and accepted for who you truly are, as you are. Jesus simply asks us to come and be fully seen & known by him; to allow him to see our true selves with nothing hidden. But although this invitation seems straightforward, our reply often complicates things. Our initial response can be tainted by our shame and fears, like the bride in the Song of Songs, we turn him away and say no.

“Until the day breaks and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved, and be like a gazelle
or like a young stag on the rugged hills.”
Song of Songs 2:17 NIV

Sometimes the thing Jesus asks of us isn’t what we expect and it’s the thing we feel least capable of doing, so we disregard our desperation to leave winter behind, turn away from him and stay where we are. His words of affirmation that should encourage us, scare us. We struggle to accept the things he says about us. It’s easier to stay in our shame and self-hatred than to take a risk and believe that we truly are lovely to him, that he loves and accepts all that we are and all that we are not. We disbelieve that we can fully show him our true selves and that he will still desire us. Will he still call me lovely if he sees who I really am?

His invitation is to come out of hiding, to let go of all our shame, unworthiness and fears and to be fully known just as we are. But it feels safer to stay hidden than to fully let him into our hearts. We feel incapable of going on this journey of vulnerability, we know that it will cost us. Intimacy has a cost. True relationship cannot be controlled or faked or manipulated. It requires openness, honesty and trust. All facades have to be laid down. Whatever performance we have put on to protect ourselves has to stop. We count the cost and the cost seems too great. So we avoid his gaze and often without fully intending it, we allow our fears to rule us and remain in winter instead of moving forward with our beloved into spring.

However there is a greater cost incurred when we choose to turn away and stay hidden, as our relationship with Christ will never mature. Why is intimacy with Jesus such a fundamental area for us as believers to grow in? Because in that place of deeper intimacy we learn to trust. Trust is such a vital factor of our relationship with our bridegroom because only when we trust him are we able to walk by faith, which is an essential component required for us to become over-comers! When we walk only by sight, our fears and doubts hold us back and keep us bound. Only by supernatural faith can we look beyond our current circumstances, our winter, and recognise the spring before us and then by faith begin to grasp that reality and advance into it, overcoming every obstacle in our path. We have to believe in what Jesus sees and says about us and our future, over and above what we can detect with our own eyes. In other words we trust that the winter is over, just because he says so, even if we can’t distinguish that yet.

Without trust and faith we will stay right where we are. Boldly stepping out in faith, relying on his words alone, requires a secure foundation of trust and that trust grows through relationship, by believing in his adoration and affection for us. If we want to leave our winter behind us, the first step is to choose to believe in his love and desire toward us, even in our weakness. When we learn to trust him with all that we are, our whole hearts, we realise he is the one that knows us most and that he makes the declaration that we are lovely from that place of knowing us better than we know ourselves. But it’s up to us to believe him.

If we want to step out in faith and become over-comers, we have to enter into intimacy first and foremost, only then we can go by faith to where Jesus wants to take us. Jesus’ invitation in the Song of Songs is actually two-fold – he’s inviting us into deeper relationship and drawing us into his heart because he wants to take us to conquer the mountains – the problem areas in our life that are keeping us stuck. He wants to lead us out of our winter, of where we are caught right now, and bring us to a place of complete victory.

“Arise, my dearest. Hurry, my darling.
Come away with me!
I have come as you have asked
to draw you to my heart and lead you out.”
Song of Songs 2:10 TPT

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(Read Winter (1) first if you haven’t already!)

One of the things I have discovered in this winter season that has really helped me to slow down and renew my soul has been ‘Contemplative Prayer’. This is a type of meditation that can be practiced in many ways but my favourite approach is just to sit and be in silence, focusing on the presence of God. By choosing to engage in contemplative prayer daily, I created a regular space in my life where the only object was simply to be still, body, soul and spirit. Initially my thoughts, and sometimes my body too, felt resistant to being still but I chose to keep persevering, even when I felt uncomfortable in the silence. It was like I had forgotten how to stop and just be, my automatic reflex was to to just keep going, I realised I only felt comfortable when I was busy, but that began to change. As I returned to and rested in God’s presence everyday I slowly noticed a shift in my inner world, a stillness was beginning to grow. Peace beyond understanding was flowing from my spirit and beginning to permeate my soul, displacing my racing thoughts. My soul began to feel at rest throughout the day, not just during the time I spent in contemplative prayer. It was like I was remembering how to just be. 

As I look back I realise resting wasn’t really something I had been giving myself permission to do, physically or mentally, I felt that I ought to just keep going. Life just felt like an endless to-do list and I just kept looking ahead to the next thing, then the next thing. I never felt present and I wasn’t really enjoying my life, it just felt like I was rushing through it. If we don’t have moments of rest where we slow down and actually allow ourselves to feel how we are doing, but instead just keep ploughing ahead with the next thing on the schedule, then we will burn out. I could not sustain a life of doing as I had forgotten how to be and rest. To do we must first know how to be, otherwise we won’t know when to stop. Limits are a part of life, we weren’t designed to just keep going, like the trees we were also designed to need rest. 

In this wintertime I realised I had to cultivate rest deep within me that would enable me to move into spring. I needed to carry in my soul the wisdom that winter could reveal to me, the ability to slow down, rest and wait. Winter has shown me it’s okay to be in the in-between, that it’s okay to lay things down and stop. Instead of always being in a rush, always thinking of the next thing, I can pause in the moment and just be. I no longer feel in a constant hurry, I now take time to enjoy and delight in the world around me instead of just rushing past it. Winter has given me a new perspective, a slower and more grounded perspective, there will always be more things ‘to-do’ but I can now see the value of slowing down, resting and being present. I still look forward to spring and for the winter to fully pass, but I know that I will be able to enjoy spring all the more because of how this winter season has shaped me, however hard it has been to endure. 

“Some things you can’t know till you’re still
In the silence
Where your spinning thoughts slow down
In the stillness
Things have a way of working out”
House on a Hill – Amanda Lindsey Cook

P.S. If you have enjoyed reading this don’t forget to Follow Me! by entering your email address at the bottom of the page for email updates on new posts!

Winter is a season of waiting and it can be one of the hardest seasons to endure. When we experience a personal season of winter in our lives, the frozen and apparently barren landscape we find ourselves in leaves us hoping the relief of spring will come quickly. The repetition of the seasons surely teaches us that spring always comes, despite how foreboding the winter may seem. Yet however sure we are that winter will end, the wait can seem endless and it is easy to lose hope as we are left languishing in the cold. Although things look bleak, every season has its purpose and instead of just looking beyond winter toward spring, we can discover that winter can be a valuable period in our lives. 

Winter is an essential season in the life of a tree, it is a pause between all that was and all that will be. Winter is the in-between season – all the old autumn leaves have fallen to the ground but the new growth of spring is still yet to come. The trees laying down of their leaves has a purpose in the cycle of their lives, it’s a time for them to rest and get ready for what is to come, they have shed the old in preparation for the new.  But the new does not come straight away, the trees pause and rest during the cold, bitter months where it it toughest to survive. Although a tree in winter can look desolate from an outside perspective, a lot of what is happening is unseen, things aren’t necessarily desolate, just hidden. Beneath the surface there is growth, renewal, refreshing and preparation for all that is to come. Sometimes we need to experience a season of winter in our own lives as, like the trees, we also need time to rest and recuperate in the waiting. As the leaves on the trees fall to the ground for a season, we for seasons also have to lay things down and allow ourselves to slow down. As we slow down and take time to rest we can gain a different perspective as we allow ourselves time to just be. Winter is a season of being, rather than doing. Winter is not a busy but a quiet season, it’s not a time for planting or harvesting and the focus is not on what we are ‘producing’ with our lives, but it is an opportunity to cultivate life on the inside and prepare for what is to come.

Winter seasons can be a choice or they can be forced upon us. Often we won’t have to lay everything down at once, just certain areas of our lives, although that has certainly not been my experience. Winter’s fierce tempest struck my physical health with a shattering blow and I had to let the remaining fragments of my life hit the ground. My only option was to rest almost permanently as my body objected to any kind of output. I could no longer freely work, socialise or engage in ‘normal’ life. Life as I knew it had come to a grinding halt. Even though this physical rest had been forced upon me, I soon realised I was not really at rest as there was no rest within me. My thoughts still raced although my body could not, I felt on edge and over-thought every tiny thing and seemed to have no control over what went through my mind. I also felt deeply weary on the inside – worn down by the struggle of life. I desperately required refreshing internally as well as externally, it wasn‘t just my body that needing healing, but my soul too. My soul needed to remember how to rest and simply be and however harsh this winter season felt, it did provide an opportunity to do just that.

 

(Part Two to follow soon…)